I don't get hit on very often. I think I'm a decent enough looking guy, whatever, but I'm not one of those dudes who is, like, constantly having to fight off the ladies. Whatever. Anyway, last night I'm at my usual Washington DC haunt, the place I always go when I have to stay over in DC. I'm at the bar drinking some wine and having a great chat with one of the owners and another regular, a really interesting IBM exec named Paul. I look back and notice a not un-pretty light-skinned black woman staring right at me. I turn back to the bar, but the lady comes over and decides to join our conversation. We're talking about business, but she--rather unsmoothly--turns the conversation to politics. We're all talking for a bit, but then she corners me and proceeds to rave at me about some idea she has for a movie for about 30 minutes. I think it had something to do with a serial killer but I'm not really sure. I stopped listening after the first two crazy minutes. I'm not drinking that much, but she is absolutely housing glass after glass of white wine. The owner of the bar, standing a foot or so away, texts me a link to a Wikipedia page. Holy shit! She wrote speeches for Bill fucking Frist! She fills in for Glenn Beck! Anyway, she had overheard me mention to Paul that I was Jewish, so she spent the next 30 minutes raving at me about her proud Zionist feelings. Unfortunately, she was unaware of my thoughts on the situation in Israel which are, of course, I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING THOUGHTS ON THE SITUATION IN ISRAEL. I got maybe a word or two in, but they were mostly just to mock her or mention my wife. Again. No hints were taken. She's still pounding the wine. I'm texting the bar owner back "I'm so frightened," and trying desperately to re-engage Paul in conversation. Being the stand up guy that he is, the owner kicks her the fuck out. Anyway, point is, next time you see this woman on CNN or Fox or Bill Maher or whatever, you can feel justified that the feeling you have that the person you're watching is touched--deeply--in the head is 100% warranted. You heard it here not at all first. But hey: she's single and lookin'!
Oh! And the best part? The book she had been reading before she came over to bother us? (Keep in mind here that this was the book she choose to bring to the bar for some light reading over a bite to eat by her lonesome). That book,
Wait, so is that how you define hitting on you? Are you omitting something? Sounds to me like she thought she found a Jew who could help her sell a screenplay. Thank you Mark Sanchez.
ReplyDeleteSince you ask, Anonymous--if that is your real name--I'm generally really bad at figuring out when someone is hitting on me (guy or girl. More frequently guy though.) but in this case? There was no question. Trust me.
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